Obituary of Ulene Marie Ducharme

DUCHARME, Ulene Marie (nee Jeffrey) Surrounded by her loving family and in the tender care of the palliative care team at Victoria Hospital London, passed away peacefully February 27, 2016, in her 95th year. Beloved wife of the late Napoleon Ducharme (1993). Dear mother & mother-in law of Margaret (Larry) Powell of Clinton, Sharron Ducharme, Sarah Jeffrey, Joanne (Bill) Taylor, Pat (Ron) Finch, Cathy (Gerry) Keogh, all of London, Ann (Jamie) Nagle of Kitchener, and Terry (John) Ross of Goderich. Loved by 20 grandchildren and 36 great grandchildren and more than 80 nieces and nephews. Predeceased by her son, Ray (1999) daughter Julie (2008) and son-in-law Ray Jeffrey (2007). Mom was the last surviving sibling from the Ducharme/Jeffrey families, predeceased by parents Leon & Pauline Jeffrey; sister Blanche (Sal) and brothers Leonard (Cis), Lloyd (Agnes), Clemence (Mary), Ted (Madge); sisters and brothers in law Sister Francis Borgia, Sarah (Ziffy) Rena (Noel) , Cecilia (Len) , Madeline (Bill) (Claude), Margaret (Len), Monica (Richard) William"Boye" (Juliette) , Louis (Theresa) , Victor (Vi) & Isidore. Visitation at John T Donohue Funeral Home, 362 Waterloo Street, Tuesday March 1 from 2:00-4:30pm with prayers at 4:00pm and 7:00 -9:00pm. Celebration of Love and Life at 8:15pm. Funeral Mass, Wednesday, March 2 11:00am at St. Patrick Roman Catholic Church, 377 Oakland Ave, London; interment 2:00pm St. Peters Cemetery. Expressions of sympathy will be graciously accepted by the Canadian Hemophilia Society c/o hemophilia.ca or London Regional Cancer Program c/o LHSF.ca. Share memories or condolences at www.donohue@donohuefuneralome.ca Eulogy of ULENE MARIE DUCHARME (JEFFREY) On behalf of my siblings I would like to thank you for joining us today to celebrate the life of our dear mother/ grandmother/ great grandmother. Speaking for the family I will try to represent the shared feelings of love, devotion and admiration we all felt towards our mother. We have lost the irreplaceable centre of our family & joyous light in our lives. She truly was the embodiment of kindness, generosity, integrity & goodness and we can forever live in the knowledge that she loved us all very much. Mom didn't do a lot of reading…she had nine kids who the heck had time to read!!! But we think Mom's story is as good as any New York Times best seller so we want to share some of the chapters from her life. Chapter One - The Early Years Mom was born 94 years ago to Leon & Pauline Jeffrey and raised in a tiny hamlet of Blake (in Huron County) with her siblings Blanche, Leonard, Lloyd, Clemence and Ted all of whom she dearly loved. Growing up during the depression was not always easy and made even more difficult when their family home burned to the ground. Mom was just 7 yrs. old at the time and that tragedy left an indelible impression. As an adult she would sometimes recall the events of that fateful day & the struggle & hardship that followed to rebuild their lives. Chapter Two - Love and Marriage and Kid, Kids and More Kids The years passed & that sweet girl from Blake soon caught the eye of Napoleon, one of the handsome Ducharme boys from the Sauble Line. Their first date was a movie, "The Trail of the Lonesome Pine" and on that day a love was born. They married on July 4, 1942 and eventually moved to London where they built a home and welcomed 9 children into their lives, Julie, Ray, Margaret, Sharron, Sarah, Joanne, Pat, Cathy and Ann. The 50 years they spent together is nothing less than a great testament of their love for each other. Their hearts & home were always open. The little house on Josephine St was often bursting at the seams with family, friends and euchre games that lasted all night. It was in this happy environment we were taught the importance of family, faith, hard work, kindness, love & laughter. Chapter Three - Ilene…isms If you knew Mom, you loved Mom. That's just the way it was. Her warm, kind and down to earth approach to life was just so easy to love! But hey you don't live to 94 without developing a few quirks and in our family those quirks are lovingly known as Ulene..isms. Sharing some of these …isms with you, will give you a peak at the part of mom's character that was full of life, who liked to have fun and giggle, and oh how my Mom loved to giggle. And you know, Mom was often the instigator of the fun. Ulene..ism # 1…. Water fights are good for the soul For instance..Mom really believed that water fights were good for the soul….whether it was with the garden hose, or with a glass of water being heaved out the kitchen window at someone or if it was the dog's water dish! Yep the dogs water dish!! Poor Bill had not been dating Joanne very long but was at home for a typical Saturday night gathering on Josephine Street. Our brother Ray and Mom got into a water fight and Mom needed some quick ammunition to hold her own against Ray, she grabbed for dogs the water dish…well Ray ducked and poor Bill got the dog's water right in the face. Welcome to the family Bill!!! Ulene…ism # 2…..The "As If's" of Life Another one of our favourite Ulene..isms… Is how Mom would often start a sentence with "as if". You can replace As if …with more definitive statements like….Are you crazy? Or… Now why would I even consider that? Or…No, I don't believe that for a moment!! But for Mom..it was simply "as if" As if …I would build a cottage on the beautiful pristine shores of Lake Huron, I have nine kids and I can't swim! As if…I am going to go to your staff party with all those younger people. I am 80 years old!! As if…I would wear that. It shows too much of my neck And now to one of our favourite Ulene…isms: Ulene…ism # 3…. Don't ever leave home without a ham Mom was a great cook and really really good baker. And Mom never ever visited without bringing food of some sort. And anyone who knew mom knows she doesn't pack lightly when it comes to food. Mom would often take the train down to Kitchener to stay with Annie when Jamie was out of town. On one of these occasions Annie's neighbor who had never met mom offered to pick mom up from the station. She asked but Annie. "how will I recognize your mom?" "Well she is 5'2", gray hair and would be the only lady with a ham hanging out of the top of one of many grocery bags." The neighbor spotted mom immediately and cheerfully greeted her saying "hi you must be Ulene! I am Annie's friend Patti and I am here to pick you up." Mom wondered out loud to Patti …"how did you know it was me?"…Patti responded, because Ann explained you would probably have a ham hanging out your shopping bag…and sure enough you do." With a giggle and a grin Mom replied, "oh that little beggar". It was that trip to Kitchener that Ann's neighbours penned the name "Dream Ulene" for Mom…a nick name that has loving stay with Mom to her final day. Ulene…ism…#4 ….Everyone Really Should Memorize Produce Codes OK…if you were going to the grocery store with Mom, you had better pack your overnight bag. It was not uncommon for mom to spend 45 minutes in the produce aisle. When Grandma moved to the Cherryhill apartments her days were filled with walking trips to the mall, often twice a day. She regularly challenged the freshness of the produce and dairy products at the neighbouring Metro and I'm pretty sure the manager would hide in the backroom when he saw that feisty grey haired little 5 foot dynamo coming down the aisle. We have often made fun of Mom with our imitations of her diving to the very back of the LARGE refrigerators at Metro to buy milk and cream with the longest possible expiry date. "As if "she was going to buy coffee cream that had already reached the expiry date and do you know that the best possible oranges to buy are 4102's. Yep…mom got to know the best quality of produce based on their codes…OK family admit it…how many of us now go grocery shopping and pick up the oranges and look for the code 4102. But her Ulene..isms were not all about food honest!! Ulene…ism # 5….The Silent Night Gene The first Christmas without Dad was sad for all of us, but Mom's sadness seems to have had a lasting genetic impact on all of us. We call it Ulene's Silent Night gene. As tradition would have it…many of us shuffled into the pews at Holy Rosary Church…the family church for more than 40 years…to celebrate Christmas Mass with Mom and family. As the congregation started to sing Silent Night, huge big tears trickled down Mom's cheeks, her voice quivering and the words to the song no longer coming from her sweet voice. Yes Mom was probably moved by the beauty of that favourite carol…but mostly she was sad and very much missing her Nap. Dad died twenty three years ago and many of the girls in the family cannot get pass the first line in Silent Night without tears and quivering voices…. moved by the beauty of that favourite Christmas Carol??? Hmmmm Maybe…..but mostly it is the Ulene Silent Night Gene!! The next chapter in Mom's book speaks to her enormous strength and courage. Chapter Four - The Only Thing Small About Mom Was Her Stature If you met my Mom you would quickly find out that the only thing small about her was her stature. Her faith in God, her kindness, her capacity to love and her courageous spirit were enormous and valuable through the hard times…because as is with any life well lived, with the laughter there were also tears. Mom's heart was broken into a million pieces when Dad died. He was her rock, her anchor, the one and only love of her life and remained so until her last breath. And then Ray …her only son died six years later. Although we tried to convince Mom she didn't need to come to the hospital… Mom's strong and courageous response was "he is my son, of course I will be with him." And she stood by his bed holding his hand until he took his final breath. Seven years later Julie (Mom's oldest daughter) was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Julie lived less than a month from the day she was diagnosed and again nothing was keeping Mom away from the palliative room where Julie was being tenderly cared for, Mom was at Julie's bedside to the end, holding her hand and comforting her like only a mother's love can. Mom continued to show remarkable strength, always willing to make adjustments to her personal life so that she could remain independent as long as possible. So after living on Josephine St for over 50 yrs., she decided it was time for a move. A few months later she was on her way to Cherryhill. But 15 Josephine Street was the only home we knew and it was built with more sweat equity than you can imagine. There were no contractors, painters, or designers…just hard hard work by Dad and Mom, together building every inch of our family home. So you can understand the emotion on moving day. When the last box was loaded onto the truck and we were gathering on the front porch, several of us girls said ….well I am not closing the door for the last time…and baby sister Ann blubbering through tears turned to her husband Jamie and said….Jamie you close it. Poor Jamie who would do anything and we mean anything for Mom or Annie, said…."I am not closing it…I am only a brother-in-law." At that point Mom comes from the behind the crowd gathered on the porch… and with a very casual and calm …"Oh for goodness sake……grabbed the door knob and pulled the door close. That was just Mom….she was so strong at the most difficult moments. Chapter Five - Life After Josephine Street Moving to Cherryhill opened up a whole new life for Mom. She soon became the social convenor of the building and everyone knew that friendly lady in #1201. . Mom absolutely loved the 13 yrs. she spent at Cherryhill and the wonderful neighbours that soon became dear friends. But as debilitating arthritis continued to limit her mobility, she soon realized she could no longer manage on her own. It was time to retire. Grand Wood Park became her new home and soon with new friends and acquaintances. We have evidence that God really does send us angels when we most need them. Although Mom was doing her best to adjust to the retirement home, she missed her apartment and friends from Cherryhill. But then an angel arrived and her name is Rosie!! Rosie moved into Grand Wood not long after Mom. We think they found each other in the Princess Café one day and started to chat over coffee….well as the old cliché goes…the rest is history. Rosie and Mom formed a friendship that one would think had been cultivated over a lifetime…and not just a year…. and Rosie is the angel that made Mom's transition to Grand Wood just a bit easier. Poor Rosie doesn't know it yet…but she has just adopted seven new daughters never ever replacing your friendship with our Mom…but certainly a few extra girls to share a coffee and a giggle with. Chapter Six - The Final Chapter That darn old shoulder (as mom would describe it) really was the beginning of the decline of Mom's health in the last year. The excruciating pain followed by the gradual loss of her independence. And then a few weeks ago the probable diagnosis of blood clots on her lung was more than her tiny 94 year old body could fight off. But even to the end Mom wanted to make all this as easy for her family as possible…she probably over heard the schedule discussion about who would be spending Saturday night in the hospital with her but instead she loving decided… I don't want the girls to be losing any more sleep….it is time…it is time for me to go….no need to wait for another day. But Mom's book did not end in the palliative care room at Victoria Hospital. That was not her final chapter. We know that Mom's story will continue for eternity in Heaven, welcomed by our Lord and Saviour to her eternal home where there is no more pain or tears or a "Charlie Shoulder" or arm slings. Can you imagine the celebration that is going on up there right now…we are pretty sure Mom has not left Dad's side and Julie and Ray are close behind. Mom left this world with a smile and a heart filled with enough joy to fill this church. Now two young souls walk hand in hand In a place there is no mortal man Where spirits know no sorrow or pain And Mom and Dad are together again We will love you forever Mom